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| Column: We could do without 3rd-place game, all these bowls |
As the World Cup holds a game to decide third place — who cares? — and a tidal wave of unnecessary bowl games gets cranked up — really, who cares? — we’re reminded that sports, as great as it can be, has a few things we could definitely do without.
Modern pentathlon, anyone?
We’ll get back to that befuddling sport in a moment.
For now, let’s focus on a World Cup game of zero significance Saturday between Morocco and Croatia, plus the first of 42 major college bowls — only three of which mean anything — being played Friday in a country (the Bahamas) that has no real affinity for American-style football.
Morocco made a stunning run at the World Cup, becoming the first African team to reach the semifinals while sparking joyous celebrations in the Arab world and beyond.
For all intents and purposes, that electrifying performance ended with a 2-0 loss to defending world champion France in the semifinals Wednesday. The Moroccans should be at home now, reveling in the adulation of an appreciative nation.
Instead, they’ll be back on the pitch one more time in Qatar, deciding the tournament’s third-best team when they face a Croatian squad that lost to Argentina 3-0 in the other semifinal.
The players tried to act like this means something.
Trust us, it doesn’t.
Morocco and Croatia will long be remembered for making it to the semis. The winner of the third-place game is sure to be quickly forgotten.
Morocco coach Walid Regragui summed it up best.
“You are so disappointed,” he said. “You’ve just lost a semifinal and then two days later, you have to go back out there.”
Of course, when it comes to worthless contests, nothing beats the college football bowl system.
Four teams — Georgia, Michigan, TCU and Ohio State — have berths in the College Football Playoff. The Peach and Fiesta semifinals, followed by the national championship game, are the only major-college postseason games that matter.
Yet, over the next 2 1/2 weeks, there will be 39 more — essentially serving as huge bloc of holiday programming for ESPN and a few other networks, as monotonous and insignificant as all those Hallmark Christmas movies.
In a match-up of 6-6 teams that had never faced each other before and had little reason to travel to the Bahamas for their first meeting, UAB held on for what was admittedly a thrilling 24-20 victory over Miami of Ohio.
Beyond all the whooping and hollering from the players, the reaction to a game-winning tackle just short of the goal line was silence. The stadium appeared to be largely empty, as it should have been.
At least UAB and Miami got to enjoy a week in paradise.
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Other bowls are set for decidedly non-paradise locales such as Boise, Idaho; Shreveport, Louisiana; Fort Worth, Texas; and Montgomery, Alabama.
Why?
While we’re at it, here’s a few other things we should sweep into the dustpan of sports history:
— The aforementioned modern pentathlon, which somehow remains an Olympic event even though only a few dozen people in the entire world seem to know what it is. We’re told it has something to do with mimicking the skills needed by a pre-20th century soldier: shooting, sword fighting, swimming, running and riding a horse. The riding part appears on the way out after a coach — apparently a fan of “Blazing Saddles” — was accused of punching a horse at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Here’s a better idea: Let’s just get rid of the whole sport.